


Always Be There

by maddzroks



Category: Euphoria (TV 2019)
Genre: Drug Addiction, F/F, Implied/Referenced Drug Use, One-Sided Attraction, Sharing a Bed, lexi rly loves rue u guys wow
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-19
Updated: 2019-08-19
Packaged: 2020-09-07 11:43:39
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,289
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20308936
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/maddzroks/pseuds/maddzroks
Summary: (post finale) Lexi wants to kiss Rue at the dance, but when Rue disappears with Jules she thinks it's all over, that is until she finds Rue passed out on the street at 2am. She brings her home to help her out and Rue ends up staying the night.





	Always Be There

**Author's Note:**

> can u guys believe Lexi is in love with Rue omg they've been tearing me UP! me n my friend decided to write fics abt them to swap bc we rly love them LOL
> 
> also i cannot stress how quickly i researched oxy effects n how long it takes to sober up so if its wrong i would NOT be surprised hahah
> 
> anyway this ended up kinda sad, but what can i say? im a sucker for one sided love

Lexi stared out onto the dance floor, the neon lights blinding her and the loud music rocking her slightly intoxicated brain. She searched for Rue and spotted her dancing with Jules. They moved in sync, giving the middle finger to Nate Jacobs and Lexi couldn’t help but crack a smile. 

She slumped her head onto her wrist and absentmindedly asked Cassie how to choose someone to hook up with. 

“I don’t know, they usually come to you,” she answered, and Lexi frowned, “No, but what if they don’t?” she asked. Cassie smirked at her sister and replied, “You go and do whoever the fuck you want”. 

Lexi looked out to Rue and Jules again, pausing before saying, “Okay...I’m gonna do that”. Cassie’s laugh fell on deaf ears as Lexi turned her gaze back to the table. Her eyes sweeping over the tablecloth as she tried to formulate the best way to approach Rue: what kind of walk she’d need, when to do it and just what she’d have to say to get Rue to forget all about Jules and come home with Lexi instead. 

But as she looked out to the crowd again she couldn’t find Rue  _ or  _ Jules making her hopes fade as fast as they’d come. 

Rue and Jules didn’t come back for the rest of the dance, and Cassie and Lexi ended up leaving alone. Lying in the dark at home and finally sobered up, Lexi fought the urge to text Rue and ask if she was doing okay. Memories of the two of them in the bathroom with Rue telling Lexi not to check on her came back, and Lexi put her phone down. Things had definitely improved between the two of them since then, but Rue’s words still stung and Lexi didn’t want to ruin the progress. Jules would be there for her anyway.

With her mind refusing to rest, she accepted it wasn’t the time to sleep, so Lexi swung her feet off the edge of her bed, put a hoodie on and went for a walk. 

With it being 2am, the streets were nearly silent as Lexi enjoyed the cool breeze on her skin. But her peace of mind was interrupted when she saw what looked to be a person lying in the middle of the street. Her walk became stiff as chills went down her spine. The closer she came, the easier it was to confirm,  _ yeah, that’s  _ definitely  _ a body, _ she thought. Her eyes darted around the sidewalks on either side as her mind raced, wondering where a murderer might be hiding and started plotting her best escape route. But then she recognized the maroon zip up hoodie and she wished there  _ had  _ been a murderer hiding in the bushes. Anything would’ve been better than finding Rue unconscious on the asphalt. 

She was breathing. She was alive. Oh, thank  _ god _ , Rue was fucking  _ alive _ . Lexi looked around, hopelessly trying to convince herself this was the result of something other than drugs. Rue had been sober for months! What could’ve happened? 

_ Jules,  _ she thought. 

Something definitely happened with Jules seeing as she was nowhere in sight, so Lexi clumsily half dragged, half carried Rue to the sidewalk and took the other girl’s phone out of her pocket. She grabbed Rue’s hand, used her finger to unlock it and searched for Jules’ name in her messages. 

Jules: im srry i left without u, ill come back to visit. i promise.

Lexi squinted at the screen  _ Left? What???? Left where!?  _ And decided she didn’t have time to figure out what exactly happened, so instead took a deep breath and tried to figure out what exactly she should  _ do _ . 

Cassie was the heaviest sleeper alive and kept her phone on silent, so she couldn’t ask her to pick them up. Walking all the back to her house to take the car herself wouldn’t work either; it was 20 minutes away, and what would she do with Rue in the meantime? Hide  _ her  _ in the bushes? She could call Rue’s mom, but then what would she say?  _ Hey, it’s Lexi. I found your kid on the street at two in the morning! Mind coming to get us? She’s unconscious. _

Yikes.

Lexi scrolled through Rue’s contacts to try to find anyone else would might 1. Be awake, and 2. Care about Rue enough to come help. And then she found him: Fezco. 

Fezco arrived with Ashtray in 10 minutes. He’d apparently ‘already been out’ and came almost as soon as Lexi had sent the text to him. He helped her move Rue into the car and looked back at Lexi after closing his door.

“You know what it was?” he asked. Lexi shook her head. 

Fezco sighed, “She’s breathin’ though?” Lexi nodded, “Yeah...it’s like she’s asleep,” she looked down at Rue who’s head rested on Lexi’s lap. 

Fezco nodded, “‘Sprolly oxy. She’ll wake up soon. Where you want me to drop her?” 

Lexi replied, “Uh, my house is fine I guess. I’ll give you directions”. She took out Rue’s phone again and texted her mom. 

Rue: sleeping over at Lexis tonight, see u in the morning

Rue’s mom replied incredibly fast with an ‘okay’.  _ Nice,  _ thought Lexi. One less thing to worry about.

The drive to Lexi’s was less than five minutes. She thanked Fezco and Ashtray for driving them, while Fezco helped get Rue on Lexi’s back and unlock the front door. Her mom was sleeping on the couch, so Lexi did her best to stay silent as she carried Rue to the stairs.  _ Ah...the stairs…  _

She’d definitely forgotten about those. _ _

In the middle of psyching herself up to try to lug the taller girl to the second story, Rue started to move on Lexi’s back. Sighing with relief, Lexi beelined for the bathroom and gently slid Rue down onto the fluffy shower mat before locking the door and turning the lights on. 

As Lexi sat down on the toilet, Rue's eyes began to open. She squinted at the brightness of the ceiling lights as her vision focused and Lexi jumped up to turn them off, "Sorry, Rue!" she whispered. 

Rue propped herself onto her elbows and turned towards Lexi.

"...Jules…" she said. 

Lexi's face fell, "N-no Rue..it's not Jules it's, uh, it's Lexi" and offered a reassuring smile even though she was pretty sure Rue couldn't see it.

Rue brought a hand to her head and shook it, "No, Jules…she left," her voice breaking with the last words.

Even in the darkness, Lexi could tell Rue was crying, and she knew she wasn't Jules, she couldn't make Rue feel so good she forgot about everything else, good enough to be sober for months, but Lexi could be there for her. Right now. In this moment. So she maneuvered herself down from the toilet and sat down next to Rue on the bathroom floor. Hesitatingly, so as to not scare the other girl, Lexi gently rested her hand Rue’s shoulder. The curly haired girl lifted her head as sat up straighter so she could lean into Lexi who wrapped her arms around Rue. They just sat like that for a while, as long as Rue needed. 

After a bit, Rue sniffled and grabbed some toilet paper, eyes finally adjusted to the dark. She blew her nose and distanced herself from Lexi just far enough to meet her eyes in the darkness. She scoffed and said, “My mom’s gonna be so pissed,” as tears began to form again. 

“Hey hey hey…” Lexi started, “Don’t worry, I texted your mom after I found you, she knows you’re here, it’s  _ totally  _ fine”. 

Rue gave her a puzzled look, but before she could ask, Lexi added, “I’ll fill you in if we can go upstairs. I really, haha, I really don’t want to sit on this floor anymore,” and Rue smiled slightly as Lexi got up and extended a hand. 

Having Rue in her bed felt both extremely familiar and really strange. Lexi wasn’t exactly sure when she had fully,  _ fully _ realized her feelings for Rue, but now with the other girl inches away from her face in her twin sized bed, she could confidently say it was definitely sometime  _ after _ their last sleepover. Not able to take facing each other, Lexi turned onto her back and started to resume their conversation from the bathroom. 

“So I-” “It was oxy”. 

Rue sighed, “Sorry-sorry I didn’t mean to--” Lexi shook her head, “Oh no, it’s fine,” she turned head to smile softly at Rue, patting her hand under the covers, “Go ahead”.

Rue closed her eyes, “I...I just...I dunno she wanted to leave, and, and I couldn’t leave I mean I didn’t think she’d really  _ go _ , you know? Like, like without me and everything but she did and,” Rue turned away from Lexi, soft tears sliding down her cheek. 

She continued, “She did, and I just...I couldn’t take the idea of being  _ here  _ without  _ her _ , you know? It just...I,” she wiped her eyes, “I had an extra so…”. She looked angrier now, frustrated and tired. Lexi waited. 

Rue took a deep breath, “I’m so fucking stupid,” she said.

The words were harsh, as if they were fact, and Lexi had no choice but to protest, “Rue, don’t say that.”

Rue’s body tensed as she curled into herself, still not facing Lexi, “No...no I should fuckin’ say it because I need to know it: I’m fucking stupid I--how, how did I even end  _ up _ here?”

Lexi didn’t want to say, but the texts she’d sent to Fezco were still in Rue’s phone, so she forced herself through the words. “I...went on a walk cause I couldn’t sleep, and I-I found you on, um, on the street. So I called Fezco to come get us and texted your mom…” 

Rue didn’t answer, there wasn’t really anything to say, so Lexi left it at that. Carefully, she inched her body closer to Rue’s until they were touching. She could feel how tight Rue was clenching her muscles and gently Lexi let her arm come around to Rue’s stomach. She squeezed her tight, her face almost buried in Rue’s curly hair. 

They stayed like that, and after a while, Rue’s body started to relax. She slowly turned to face the other girl again and laughed softly when their eyes met. 

Shaking her head, Rue asked, “How are you  _ always  _ there?” 

Lexi looked confused, “What do you mean?” she asked.

“I dunno you’re-you’re just always, you know,  _ THERE _ . No matter, uh, how many times I fuck up, no matter what stupid, mean shit I say to you, when I need to, uh, fuckin’ piss in a cup or-or when my sister’s being an idiot or apparently even when I’m passed out! On-on the fuckin street at  _ two in the god damned  _ ** _morning_ ** !” Rue shook her head again, eyes darting across Lexi’s face, “You’re there,” she finished. 

Lexi shrugged, trying to mask how fast her heart was beating, “I mean, of course, Rue,” her hand found Rue’s under the blanket, and she squeezed it tight, “I love you, haha”. 

Rue smiled and dropped her eyes, “I love you too, Lex,” she replied, causing Lexi’s insides to flip. 

She leaned forward and kissed Rue’s forehead hoping desperately that their platonic ‘I love yous’ allowed a forehead kiss to also be, well, platonic. 

But as Lexi went to turn onto her back again, Rue’s hand she’d been holding found it’s way to Lexi’s cheek and kept the two facing each other. 

The other girl looked unsure, almost shy, and Lexi had absolutely no idea what was going on. “I’m...mostly sober,” Rue started, “Since it’s been like, I dunno, four fuckin’ hours, but if you hate the thing I’m gonna do, could you, uh, heh, c-could we just, like...say I only did it cause I was high?” Rue asked, and Lexi--still having no idea what was happening--replied, “I, yeah sure Rue what--”

And her sentence was cut off as Rue leaned forward. Her hand quickly moving from Lexi’s cheek to her shoulder blade, pulling Lexi closer; and Lexi was all in. She kissed Rue back with the love of 10+ years, happiness spreading through her. She kissed Rue with a sincerity that no matter what happened after, she’d be there for her. Always. No matter what. 

Lexi let one arm slide under the space between the pillow and Rue’s neck and the other around her back, hugging the other girl close. Their bodies were right against each other, their legs tangled together, and yet somehow it still didn’t feel close enough. 

They kissed for what seemed like forever, desperately trying to be closer than physically possible, as if they’d lose the other if they let an inch of space between them. 

It was Rue who pulled away first and let her forehead rest against Lexi’s, grinning wide. Her body melted into Lexi’s, one hand on the other girls cheek, her thumb moving back and forth. Small flecks of glitter leftover from the dance sparkled in the moonlight. Lexi softly rubbed Rue’s back with one hand and touched her nose to Rue’s. 

She wanted to tell her she was beautiful. She wanted to tell Rue that she’d thought about kissing her for so long and that she wanted to hold her hand and walk her to class.

Lexi wanted to tell Rue that she loved her,  _ really _ loved her.

But Lexi also knew better. 

So instead, she closed her eyes, forehead still resting against Rue’s, and sunk into the moment. As she dozed off, she heard Rue’s voice, barely above a whisper, “Thank you”.


End file.
